Alignment in the Pursuit
Perspectives from a 20-Year Touring Musician Turned Psychotherapist
by Erin Hannah Fein
For many years as a musician, I tried relentlessly to network. I went to shows, attended parties, and pushed through crowds at music festivals in hopes of meeting the “right” people. I had few real connections in the music world at all, so networking often felt like the only pathway I had in order to build relationships within an industry I deeply longed to be part of. I had countless conversations over time, but many felt forced or empty. Although there were meaningful moments, especially with other musicians, much of my effort was driven by a desire to secure funding and feel seen and supported. The intention behind the networking was genuine: with industry support would come the ability to share my music. I dreamt of a world where I could create experiences that might foster connection and even healing.
In the pursuit of opportunity, I experienced a growing tension between my actions and my core values of authenticity, integrity, and meaningful human connection. As that strain accumulated, my relationship to music itself began to erode.
Ultimately, I burned out.
However, my love for music never fully disappeared.
In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, developed by Steven C. Hayes, psychological well-being is understood as deeply tied to values alignment. When our actions drift from what we genuinely care about, distress and disconnection often follow. My relationship with music was disconnected. It wasn’t over, but it had eroded.
Shifting my primary focus away from music for training in Clinical Psychology allowed me to understand my experiences through a different lens.
Now, as a psychotherapist specializing in working with artists and musicians, I see how common the tension is between ambition and alignment, visibility and integrity. While the music industry can at times prioritize superficial metrics, there are still deeply grounded, values-driven people within it.
Now my invitation to emerging musicians is this:
Slow down enough to check in with yourself as you meet people. Networking is not inherently wrong, but it benefits from being done with intention and mindfulness. Notice what it feels like to be in connection with people.
Ask yourself, Are these the kinds of people I want to work with and be shaped by?
Do you know what their values are? Have you observed how they treat others when there is no advantage to be gained?
Success without alignment can feel empty. The people you collaborate with will shape not only your opportunities, but your well-being and the energy behind your work. Connection rooted in shared values can sustain both your art and your mental health.
Erin Hannah Fein, M.A., AMFT, is a musician and Associate Marriage & Family Therapist based in Los Angeles. Performing under the name Psychic Twin, her work explores emotion, identity, grief, transformation, and human connection, and she plans to release her second full-length album this year. Erin integrates her background in music and creativity into her therapeutic work through a trauma-informed integrative approach. Her clinical focus includes relationships, nervous system awareness, and personal growth. If you would like to contact her, please visit EHF Therapy.